Memories are Urges

Memories are urges – they are all we have when we want to be closer or remember someone, place, event or thing – something in the deep quality of the memory elicits a feeling so familiar and yet ever so interesting even exciting – we can’t help it we are drawn right in - we love the scenes – no matter how maudlin or wonderful – this urge is like when we were in our crib and saw the mobile for the first time – we are fascinated – we can’t take our eyes off it – we watch as it dances and moves - the delight rushes through every pour of our little body - we sense this great feeling of something wonderful - we want it more than we can understand – it is some primordial movement in us to receive the information that is poring out - we not only see it but we feel it and all of it’s qualities in so many multiplicities, forms and ways that it all overwhelms us and makes our bodies jump and writhe with the joy.

In Stillness

In truth there is no one here to talk about – only the intelligent living Divine Presence transfiguring to be Awake fully - consciously discovering how it is re-awakening and then going back to sleep.

The old personal model and activity of self referencing stories is dieing away because of deep inspection and the lack of use.

I know now without a doubt I am connected to the impulse to Awaken beyond my control

Awakening is happening to me – it is real.

I am drawn to be outwardly and inwardly still - to reduce my mental and egoic story telling activity outwardly - to take real breaks from my self imposed madness of stress and thinking - which just drives the grip, power and illusion of my misidentification with my fretful inauthentic self.

I have heard all my own stories and have felt all those old reactive thoughts/feelings enough now – I am almost finished with them - and I don’t really want to listen to anyone else’s either – not now

I am drawn to spaces and moments where I can consciously allow talking and all that to rest - I am finding places to serve or take long rides throughout the countryside or go to the Ocean to initiate a conscious meditative sojourn – to elicit the Stillness - so I can practice this deepened space of conscious attention - to watch and be present as the transition occurs as I float free and clear – by God’s Grace I am drawn into the Stillness.

In this Stillness the Spiritual instruction is revealed and I am beginning to recognize how to merge with the already existing Divine space of Being.

I sometimes Awaken fully - when I do, I remember who I am and naturally move to dissolve into the deep truth of my very living and Eternal Self and reside Awake and present.

It is this Awakening time for me and others, I wish to acknowledge with my writing.

The Urge

As I sit here – with all that is going on – all of the rushing to get all of these next items on our to do list and to keep an eye on the clock and the future so we can get these simple and complex needs met or even accomplished.

Every so often we have a sense of break – then the unfamiliar but gentle urge so familiar to us becomes conscious of Itself and the total surrounding space including our internal mind too.

A bodily sense – of letting go and releasing our guard - we can’t help it now - it moves intelligently into place – calming our thinking and reassuring the body that this moment is about to become fuller in awareness – that we are about to watch and feel again the sense of differences and space becoming non conscripted or separate.

Then the arrival of the notion of conscious happiness or Bliss presence – fully realizing the moment is a literal transition from semi-consciousness to fuller consciousness - we realize this moment is to be given full attention – to allow the intelligence to guide the impulses of choice; to reside in full aware presence as no one and no where – now only the deep full assurance of perfect living presence is here.