Evil, Harm, Love & Wisdom

As My True Conscious Presence, Fully Awake And Purposefully Participating As Being, In Our Global Shared Present Divine Condition Of Birthing; I Say:

. . . . there’s a bunch of words and phrases from our archaic human history we just gotta dump for good.

We have inherited many, many, too many words and phrases of metaphorical, conceptual, ideological good intention to tell us who and where we are – even Spiritual Source texts with poetic paraphrases describing our existence and reality in cryptic images of unclear thought and direct personal experience – mostly from our Neanderthal global spiritual societies. . . or the modern Bible belt.

We just need to stop using or even allow to continue being discussed with any seriousness any archaic words of illusion; and evil has to be in the top 10. I know it is in mine.

Recently for me personally – let’s say; in the last 30 years . . . really for me personally . . . I simply do not remember using the word “evil” in any personal context what-so-ever; that was a genuine part of my Real Life. - or "evil" even personally being discussed as an influence about anything that matters in my life. It is just such a very weird word. . . . Evil . . . when I say it out loud . . . Evil. . . is really a fun vocal sound. I keep getting “weevil” mostly - I think of Russell Crow; as the Captain at the dinner table in Master & Commander – where he says …” one must always choose the lesser of two weevils?”

Now . . . Harm is another more used word: but it almost sounds like warm – sort of inviting by sound.

But . . .when some people act out violently it sure feels like what could be described as evil or some form of committed out of control frightening possession of something really very very very bad . . . and hurtful and damaging and harmful.

Have you ever witnessed a violent person - - - : felt one – know one . . .hmmm?

In the moment; “evil” is not the word to describe being a recipient of a violent person – even a – well – uh oh - I see - I have to say even a fatherly and loving person ------93.1% of the time . . .

The feeling that comes to mind is more body numbing than the words of fear or panic.

These words, fear and panic, are emotions - - or sort of – well a feeling.

But let’s stop: and well; what the hell is evil? – it isn’t even an emotion - it just is the sort of misuse of 4 letters for a word.

And for me . . . .

I don’t have any more time to even discuss “evil” or how we play unconsciously with our vagrant use of conscious speech and presence, acting devoid of clear non-delusional conversations that heal.

I’m done with the metaphors and concepts in speaking and all the time and energy they suck up. . . .and . . . by the way I forgave him – my dad – it wasn’t his fault.

But then, to an 8 year old boy, after the unnecessary extensive part to these violent beatings, when that part of him went dormant; he replaced those moments with his assurance of his love for me – yet; I knew there was a place in him that was still there, I would see it . . . and I wasn’t foolish enough to abstract myself from the high watch of surviving his betrayal to be involved in playing with any 4 letter word or to tell anyone . . . what I felt . . . no one knew – not my mom – no one - and yet maybe, because he only did this to me 3 times and all the time afterward he’d assure me he loved me, as he held me close – yet, it was always true, I still could feel and depend on his love and care for me all my life - our life together - I loved him happily until his death – and now I see, by grace, we both were spared the memory of the horror of his discipline breaking my trust - I remembered it all in a workshop, in my 30’s, after he died .

I hold no harm now: for I see his intention was in making me aware of who I could trust and what to look for when I did and what is real is love and what isn’t - that is what I learned.

Through all of my lessons of life as my Spiritual growth I have not "learned" I am Divine Spirit or have I "earned" the right to say that I am the Divine Itself because I my spent time looking for God - the already existing Divine self of my life.

These culminating life experiences have just allowed me to consciously release any abstractions of my attention from my whole, complete and Divinely blessed Presence; to be alive and well as all I simply am aware of . . . I have no more movement left in me to move from my bliss and assign blame or even hold on to any regret as to my person.

I forgive – I forgive – I forgive

My father is well, and his training of me was and is now understood as perfect.

I accept all of my personal history as what is so and receive my own gifts of Divine Presence by turning to people like you reading this opening you have created in me to remove the final thought that my dad was mean by any intention or predator like stalked design.

He was a beautiful loving man – he loved his mother, me, my mother and all of my many relatives deeply and actively. He showed me what it looked like to care for others in crisis. I have his AA chip dated 12/8/1946 LD (last drink). He was my friend and would talk to me about how he saw life. I watched him and my mom go to AA meetings all his life. They started 5 Michigan groups and 2 in Canada. I attended 100's of meetings with them from the time I was 2 till I was a mature teen. I watched my father reach out to people on the street; stop them, talk to them face to face and usually would give them money. There were moments when he brought home alcoholic men; who’d spend hours with my dad confessing their stories, until somehow my dad would look deeply into their eyes and ask a very slow and deliberate question - then the crying began and sometimes tears fell on our kitchen table . . . I sat there; open eyed, felt these men: listened to their "new felt honesty" of talking with my dad; his real use of words; showing and sharing his meanings of fear and love while healing an other.

Oh, the other thing I just remembered in writing this:. . . my dad never touched me before or after those incidents when I was 8, in any aggressive or violent way - ever. My father never made a demand on me to be any way, or do anything, that just was not true of me - ever . . . he showed me what it was like to feel and weep for another openly. . . to be there with his whole Being to allow forgiveness to felt by all.

And only by Divine Grace again: 30 years after his death and I had not had any real memories of him since his death:

I am now flooded with these memories of my life with my dad; with deeper re-awakenings with unexpected healings for me to feel, remember and to finally acknowledge these conscious choices that demonstrated the love and wisdom of my father.

Thank you; for your attention.